Im currently reading a fascinating book about giver and taker , I had this idea in my head for a very long time why people like to take , what is the problem behind taker because i generally feel sorry for taker and needy people then i stumble upon this well written book by ADAM GRANT . This is what i found out .
A giver will always succced no matter what obstacles in their way . Being a giver has create many opportunities for me in my life so i know what im talking about , people tends to say im lucky but i said im generous and this book clarify every thing for me . A giver mindset is very different , they approach things in a different way .
Givers uses their intelligence to amplify the smart and capabilities of other people ,light balls goes over peoples head , ideas flow , and get solved . The taker on the other side come around to promote their own interest , they drain intelligence , energy , and capabilities from others ,. Now you can see how you thrive with a giver and you drained with a taker .
Givers create a climate where everyone feels they can contribute , people can learn and innovate more . Takers affect people in a very negative way , they estimate their own contribution and neglect other . , My point here is make you pay attention to the people around you , what they are doing to you and also you to them . But generally givers like me win .
As i gotten older i realised the important of thriving in myself before i can thrive among others this ability , my physical self is very crucial to my well being and mental health A tough mental state follow by a well conditioned physical body . This even take a precedence over a spiritual quest without the body , nothing can be achieved .
Most people asked me how i stay in shape , even most personal trainers dont understand this concept . I had to learn new skills for my new life . I dont want to spend all my time in the gym exercising , ive been experimenting and learning short workout for about four years and the result is amazing , I only spend 30 to 40 mins training g myself or clients so i can spend time with family and friends .
Most of the people that used in shape are out of shape especially men because of other priority like family , work , business , relationships .
For me its important to be in shape and stay that way and i cannot be cheap on my self so short workout allows me to be consistent t without sacrificing my body .The more i thrive in myself , the more i passed it on to other people .
Men that does lots of cardio are going to sacrifice their time and energy they need to thrive with their family even worse . Even most personal trainers get burn out as they get older because they ve not learn how to thrive in themselves with a short consistency workout .
To be put simply , the foundation of a successful life is being physically fit . and through shot exercise and a good diet , a sharp mental state will follow .
Here is my link if you are interested in thriving in your 40s and beyond .victoriaboerstudio.com .
Thanks for reading .
A confidence person always take personal responsibilty they dont shift blames on other people and to be sure they are people out there who made to believe that too much passion or big dreams or even success are mark of arrogance . Success seems to annoy the hell out of them . Naturally im a confidence person but not arrogance , people seems to confuse this a lot so immediately they take me for stick up .
Most people are also operated from dependence arrogance especially in the commercial l gym , no skill , no talent , just muscle .No one likes an arrogance person so believing in yourself is very important but it has to be specific . confidence needs to be based on tangible facts and solutions , inner talents , things you can build upon , potentials , actions and the directions ion which you are determines to head
The whole point is to determine what you want to do with your confidence , for me i share it with people around me to boost their confidence also to the competitors . Doing well in life require confidence and your own self belief which build inner confidence . You need to feed that inner confidence and sometimes im too confident for most people and i cannot help it . .
Real arrogance of course called social arrogance is thinking you are better than other people in general , confidence has nothing to do with your worth as a human being or comparison of yourself to others . Confidence is internal .
We all love people that can express clearly and motivate us , this is one of the reason people love jesus christ because he was a great communicator who emerge from the bible and to be honest people who communicate well tend to get what they want and the reason is because they are well understood .
When we communicate we assume that the fist rule is to communicate to be understood but its not . The first rule is to communicate so that you cannot be mis-understood . it took me a long learning time to get this i have to keep on replaying in my head very time in my daily interaction with people .
The other thing is not to be lazy in language . and clarity place importance in dealing with people, analysing busness relationship . Ive learnt that when im not clear people mis understood and result in conflicts .People are also too overwhelmed with so much information that they dont really needs so its important to make your self really clear and simplify .
Clarity always inspire faith, because youve been understood and this makes things go well in life and relationship . Always make yourself clearer and people will think you are an expert .
Resolving conflicts is a big deal either in a bedroom or boardroom . first we need to understand why arguments occur Argument are caused by two people or two countries racing to occupy the victim position in the relationship .And arguments is one of the most common way of bringing ourself down. most arguments are also based on the fact that no one wants to accept responsibility This happens a lot with a logical mind people they want to find the means to an end .
Intelligent people seems to accept responsibility fast and move on . I come from a background that allows me to take full responsibilty of my actions ,if i play and lose its my responsibilty and these really develop me in a way that i find it easier not to argue
I also discovered that arguments is an upper limit symptoms and if you can see beyond them then you make a breakthrough . ive been learning and applying these for a very long time . There are two ways to resolve conflicts , you need to get out of a victim position and take 100 percent responsibilty . If two people are involved , That will be 200 percent responsibililty to share but thinking that one one person will share the 100 percent is a massive error in thinking .
Generally people dont always like to accept responsibllity because they feel like a loser but if you think deep enough thats not actually true , it doesnt make you a loser but a winner on the long run .If both people claim 100 percent responsibility there is a possibility of ending the conflicts .
Nobody in the right frame of mind will accept the 100 percent responsibility . this methods very well and always strike to taken share of responsibility whenever there is a conflicts
In my thinking expressive exercise is for everyone . most people dont express themselves enough and most people not at all . When the esteem is low self expression becomes a problem . Inhibiting the expression of feelings often led to loss of feelings and the loss of feelings is a love of aliveness . Feelings are the life of body and without expression , the body dies . Most people are choke with their feelings at work and home and they take it out on over exercising , drugs and bad habits .
I personally if i dont express i feel congested but i usually do . we have different ways of expressing ourselves even as im writting this its a way of expression . Children suppress most of their feelings in order to adapt to their home situations and when they grow up they lack self expressions .
The same thing applies to adult when they find frustration and disappointment in their lifes intolerable , they often take this anger upon their children or partners .This is the reason we need to discharge this feelings in a positive way either by therapy or through bio energetic exercise to make our behaviour become more reasonable ..
Every time you restrict a feelings you are restricting the motility of your body . Your spirit needs to be clean in order to be alive . one of the best exercise for expression is kicking .
KICKING – You can lie on a bed – kick the bed with each leg . keep your leg fairly straight while doing these exercise . Try to make the movement comes from the hips rather than the knee . Do this for about 2 to 3 mins daily you will see start to see the different in your expression ability .
The measure of the moral worth of a man is in his happiness – thats what bruce Lee said and i agree with him ,. Happiness to me is how well im and is not something we pursue and the better we are the more happiness . Haapiness is the result of well being . Healthy people tend to be happy .
When we feel anxiety , guilt , or depression which is a common emotions , it means our conscious is in a state of unhealthy and we must re asses our values or correct it or form a new values . Deep breathing can help us attain certain level of conscious which enhance our performance and over all health . Deep breathing alkaline the system and reduce the acid stress factor on your body which can contribute to your level of happiness .
You can also work on your happiness by relating to people that are happy , means people that are healthy with their values and sense of well being .
Posture – this also play a huge role in our well being , everything affects everything . Posture has a lot to do with our well being . People with bad postures generally dont feel good , the more im aware and correct my posture the better i feel the more happier i become .
Ive beeen experimenting with this a lot and the concept of bio0 energetic with deep breathing correcting my postures has raise my energy level and happiness to another level so keep working on these three things you will notice a huge different in your overall well being .