The Most Important Job on Earth

My very good friends and tennis partner seems to have it all; great health, a beautiful family, a lovely home and plenty of money. The problems? Her teenage kids are driving her completely nuts!

She is not alone as most parents are in this position, she wanted me to offer an insight because she admires my thinking and the level of my discipline, she even thinks the kids should come and talk me. Yet, the problems will not resolve from a conversation with me alone, but also from her.

The first thing I told her was that kids don’t do what you say, they do what they see. How you live your life is an example to them. One of the reasons that I don’t smoke or drink excessive alcohol is the fact that none of my parents does that, every parents have different challenges but it comes down to the rules you set at home and I think kids need guidance and discipline.

As a parent, it’s our responsibility to educate our kids about the consequences of their behaviour. This requires frequent communication and sometimes punishment. Yet according to a recent study, the average parent spends three and half minute per week communicating with their kids.

It’s a tough world out there, things are tougher for parents now – but that only means good parenting is more important than ever. Yes, the school will teach them reading, science, history, and math or should. Yet it’s up to us, their parents, to teach our kids the most important things like work, health, money, relationships, and integrity.

Part of this of course is leading by example, in my view there are certain things kids need to be taught:

  • Respect your elders
  • When you give your word – keep it
  • Look people in the eye when you talk to them
  • You don’t need someone to complete you – complete yourself
  • Learn to think for yourself
  • If you don’t know something, look it up
  • Cigarette don’t make you cool; they make you look dumb
  • Sex is great but unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases are not
  • When you need help ask for it, when others need help give it

Those are just some core values that I came across which I consider highly valuable for the kids around us.

 

 

 

Posted in Awareness, children, influence, kids relationships, motherhood, parenting, Personal development, spiritual teaching, Transformation, Uncategorized, wealth | Leave a comment

Make Your Cells Happy – the Pillar of the Body

Your body is always a total reflection of what’s going on in your mind. if you are walking around with a tired body, overweight and lack of awareness it’s very difficult for you to be alive and happy. Most people walk around with a dead state of mind. Being happy though is not just a state of mind but state of the body, in fact our bodies are designed to support our happiness. Without a strong body you are giving in to a weak mind.

When we are happy, we are alive and buzzing. Sadly, most people are in denial of their feelings or through lack of awareness of what’s going on in their bodies. There are no drugs powerful than most of what you already have in your head. Your brain contains a veritable pharmacy of natural happiness called endorphins – the brain’s natural pain killer, which is three times stronger than morphine. Serotonin which naturally calms anxiety and relives depression, oxytocin – the bonding hormone, and dopamine which promotes alertness and feelings of enjoyment among others.

All these hormones are just waiting to be released into every organ, and if they stagnate then you become very unhappy. This is one of the major reasons that people are hooked to painkillers, video games, drugs, food, sex, anything that will help them release these hormones into their organs.

You can create your own supply of happiness hormones at any time you want. When your cells are happy, you are happy.  Your thought, feelings, food and environment also have an influence on your cells. You need to strengthen the pillars within the body by nourishing your body.  Most people will only take on exercise or diet when doctors recommend it. I mean I’m glad I grew up in a sports background, but I also have my own challenges.

Your cells will become happier when your body is nourished. When you eat fresh whole foods and by having a balanced system – your hormones will be happy. When you drink plenty of water and energise your body.  Don’t take my word for it, if you have been feeling unhappy lately, check your food, environment, your thoughts and your words.

Do this for 30 days and you will experience a whole different world.

 

 

 

 

Posted in aging, Awareness, Better life, Caring, choose yourself, emotions, Energy, happiness, Happy for no reason, health, Look better, Lose weight, Vitality | Leave a comment

Movement Not Muscle – Health and Beauty

I love working out! I’ve played sports and have been working out all my life. I hate injury as much as any professional athlete or weekend warrior, which brings me to the subject of movement which is ignored by most people.

I like to coach movement; I usually advise my clients never to skip warm up – I mean mobility warm up doesn’t matter how much time you have. If you have 10 mins to strength train, always do 5 mins mobility, you will thank your body the whole day.

One of the biggest reasons to focus on movement is to reduce aches and pains; the reason you get aches and pains after working out is because your body lacks mobility and has restriction, means you are not moving well. For many years, dermatologist have noticed that the skin of acne sufferers seems to age more slowly than the skin of the lucky few who do not suffer from acne, the typical sign of aging such as wrinkles and thinning skin appear later in acne patients.

Honestly, I still understand what causes muscle to grow. What begin to happen when you don’t move well, when you focus only on muscles is Rather than being body, soul and spirit you end up with out of proportion  body , bid biceps , pecs , triceps, quads even though most people don’t work their  quads – hope you get the point .

Fat loss is an all-out war – it’s not a lifestyle choice, it’s a battle. For you to win the battle you’ve got to start with movement then the muscle will appear. Work the movement.

Here’s my list of exercise that improve vitality and movement:

  • Horizontal push – push up
  • Explosive full boy – Kettle bell swing
  • Deadlift –
  • Rotational torque – like med ball slam
  • Anterior chain- Med ball abdominal throw

As you can see you need movement, focus to execute these exercises properly.

Good luck and thanks for reading.

Posted in aging, Anti aging, Feeling alive, Feelings, fitness over 40, Fitness over 50, Fitness Tips, Look better, Motivation, movement, muscle building, self improvement, Strength training, Uncategorized, Vitality | Leave a comment

Keep Your Identity Small

Having defined habits is essential to building a good life, but as we progress on to the new identity those same beliefs can hold you back from going to the next level. I’m always reminding myself that I’m taking things to the next level, which is not always an easy thing to do. But here is what I’ve observed, we need to break away from the old identity by breaking a belief that will hold us back.

Your identity creates a kind of a pride that encourage you to deny your weak spots and prevent you from truly growing. Sometimes our identity keeps us from accepting our weak spots, it’s important to be open minded if you want to get ahead in life, business, health and relationships. The more you let a single belief define you, the less capable you are of adapting when life is challenging you.

We see this all the time, a schoolteacher who ignores innovative teaching methods and sticks with her tired and tested lesson plans. A vegetarian who develops a health condition that my end his life if he doesn’t make a bit of a switch. The experienced surgeon who dismisses the idea of a young colleague. The parents who dismiss the golden ideas of their children on how to do things faster.

So, the key to mitigate those lost identities is to redefine yourself so that you keep the important part of your identity even if the roles you play changes.

I’m an athlete becomes ”I’m the type of person who is mentally tough and loves a physical challenge.”

“I’m a musician who now educates and love to see other people singing.”

I’m a CEO becomes “I’m the type of person who builds and create things.”

The best way is to keep on reviewing how your identity and habits change. A lack of self-awareness is poison. Please be aware.

Posted in Altitude, Attention, Awareness, Better life, Development, Discipline, Growth mindset, success, Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Habits Do Not Restrict Freedom

Our habits are mental short cuts learnt from experience. Habits either makes us or break us and we are all products of our habits. Through habit formation it is incredibly useful because the conscious mind is the bottleneck of the brain. It can only pay attention to one problem at a time. As a result, your brain is always working to preserve your conscious attention for whatever task is most essentials.

As habits are created, the level of activity in the brain decreases, you tend to lock yourself in the cue that predict success and tune out everything else. For example, if you are anxious or stressed out coping with emotional problems, your brain automates what has worked for you in the past either good or bad; your brain skips the process of trial and error and creates mental rules – if this, then that.

Despite their efficiency, many people think they don’t want to be slave to their habits – they still wonder about the benefits of habits – I hear something like, “Will habits make my life dull?”  “Does so much routine take away the vibrancy and spontaneity of life?” Those are false and stupid questions because they make you think that you must choose between building habits and attaining freedom. In reality the two complement each other.

Personally, without habits I have no freedom, and improving good habits is always high on my list whilst I refrain from the ones that don’t serve me anymore.  Habits do not restrict freedom; they create it and people who don’t have their habits handled are the ones with the least amount of freedom.

Without good health habits, you will always be short of energy. Without good financial habits you will always be struggling for money. Without good learning habits, you will always feel behind. When you have a good habit build it up – life is easy to handle and enjoy.

Building good habits in the present allows you to do more of what you want in the future. Personally, I started out in the commercial gym as a personal trainer 12 years ago. Since then I’ve been building, structuring my habits to give me the freedom I have today. Now I have my own business / studio and lots of freedom to grow.

Here are 3 recommended books that will help you develop good habits and get rid of the bad ones:

 

Posted in Altitude, Better life, Better Relationships, career, Development, Discipline, habits, Personal development, Relationship, Relatioship, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Helping Others Improve Their Lives Will Help You Improve Yours

I read a book a few years back titled ‘Thou Shall Prosper: Ten Commandments for Making Money’ by Rabbi Daniel Lapin. it a very simple straight forward but challenging book about our mindset regarding prosperity. I believe helping people will always take you forward, maybe because I value community, people more than money. I talked to almost everyone in my local areas, shop, etc. It’s amazing how people open up and start to share one thing or the other.

Helping others doesn’t have to be monetary – people reflect your behaviour back to you. The more you help others, the more others want to help you. Being a little bit nicer in each interaction may result in a network of broad and strong connections over time. Finding genuine friendships in others is not enough, you must be master of some way to help others, it doesn’t matter if you don’t get anything in return.

For example, if someone asked me for a favour of writing a program to travel with or help officiate a tennis match or actually play a tennis match – well I could do other things with my time like watching a football match on TV or watching a movie on Netflix. Instead I could help the person out and ignore my own desire of doing other things with my time which I cherish above any other things. The list of things we can help people with goes on but that’s just an example.

Another way is to listen to someone who is really in distress, who needs someone to talk to without judgement. So, life is a miracle provided you have many friends and provided everyone knows what everyone else does best. This of course is the value of advertising. This wisdom has brought lots of success to my life and helped me connect with winners in life. Do this for 30 days and see how your life will change.

Posted in Altitude, Family, prosperity, spiritual, success tip, Uncategorized, wealth, winner, wisdom | Tagged | Leave a comment

Make People Feel Valuable

I’m sure you already know this – people needs to feel valuable, from a waiter, to a porter at your biggest departmental store or a club. It’s unbelievable how people respond to someone that make them feel important. Personally, I don’t think people should compete for feeling important. When you make people feel important you give them a gift – some people need it more than others its different from making them feel felt or interesting because you touch them in an even deeper way when you make someone feel valuable.

We all have the potential to make people feel important – it has nothing to do with manipulating or giving false compliments that are short lived. Being engaging in a conversation without your thoughts wandering is a sign of emotional IQ and you are telling this person that he or she is very valuable in some way.

I was reading a business book where most managers of a corporate company need to learn to make employees feel valuable and this contributes to high performance at the end of the year. If your emotional IQ is high, you will find a way to show the people you value – parents, children, a partner, a boss, a client, a key co-worker how much they matter.

I’m always saying make other people look good, it will always make you more valuable and make both parties important to each other. Even go out of your way and make the annoying people in your life important. The answer is that this high maintenance people constantly need to feel important because they feel they don’t feel special or the world is not treating them right. Every day they try to impress or overpower the people around them and every day they fail.

They are craving for attention and if they cannot find it in a good way then they look for a bad way. No wonder we have people doing crazy things to get attention. Personally, the best way you can make people feel important is to deeply engage and tell them they matter.  So, the moral is the good people in your life need and deserve reassurance that they are valued. Give people what they want even, the annoying people they will give you want you need.

 

 

Posted in Altitude, Attention, Better Relationships, Caring, feeling important, feeling valued, influence, persuasion, Uncategorized | Leave a comment