Most of us have not been taught how to express our needs. Also, most of us have never been taught to think in terms of our needs. I can recall many times that I think a friend, or my mom should automatically understand my needs and when she doesn’t, I have a build-up of anger compounded inside me.
As I started learning how to communicate, things got easier; I’m a very direct person in terms of saying what I need, but this time around without any of the violent outbursts. Most times we talk about what we need rather than what we want. There is a huge different between needs and making a request.
We need to express what we need rather than talking about what is wrong. The moment we can do that, the possibility of finding ways to meet everybody’s need will be greatly increased. It takes a lot of practise to learn how to express our needs and when we don’t, we feel great pain in our heart.
Another pain is we are often judged mostly by identifying and revealing our needs. I guess that’s the reason people tend to hide their needs and feelings. Most people are full of anger because their needs have not been met; if we don’t value our needs, other may not either.
The more we acknowledge and value each other’s feelings and needs, the more we come together and build a loving relationship. I communicate my needs this day in a variety of way without the need to compromise myself, but by becoming more aware of other people’s needs too.