The last thing anyone want to do to get me on their side is to threaten their way or manipulate , If you want people on your side , you need to negotiate on a long term win and its better to be determined to enter only into agreement that pressure long term very good relations . I didnt learn how to negotiate in school but my tennis skill kind of help me in understanding win and lose .
The first thing is be prepared to walk away from the deal if your long term needs is not going to be satisfied .
Bring your authentic self to a negotiation will help you on a long term . you need to protect what you have and ask for what you want . Dont be afraid and dont get attached to the outcome if its not going to satisfy both party , prepared to walk away .
Anything is negotiable – everything is set by someone and it can always be negotiate – you only needs to be discipline and stick to what you want but also be flexible . Life is an extended negotiation – when you begin to look at life as a long extension negotiation process , you will find that almost every situation contain element that can can be negotiate to improve the terms and conditions for yourself and others .
Dont be intimidated by the written prices , either on signs or in letters and in contract Always assume its written in pencils it can be erazed . Whatever some one written is not the final , it can be negotiate .
Everything magic is challenging , even writing this blog . so to be authentic you need to work hard im a kind of a person that seek stress , deliberatly to bring other people into it which its so challenging because most people brain are wired for easy . Its not easy to be authentic , and the challenge is being authentic is soo hard that you require courage and a little bit of money then the challenge of being authentic will go down .
When we choose to be true to ourselves , the people around us will make no sense of how we are changing , partners and children might feel fearful and unsure about the changes they are seen , even in business like being a coach that demand high level of inspiration getting people to their best .
Though i dont want my being authentic to be perceived as a narcissist , it helps to care about people around me and see the authentic in them . hopefully im making sense . Sacrificing who we are for the sake of what other people think just isnt worth it
Authenticity demands whole heartedly living and loving even when its hard .even when we are wrestling with shame and fear of not being good enough .
Get inspired – im always inspired by people who shares their work and creativity to the world . I also like to improve my authenticity through my work and like to encourage others to be brave with their life as well .
Get going – even when im deep trouble i make being authentic mu number one . If the goal is authenticity and they dont like me . im okay . The most important is i get going by making authenticity my priority .
Setting the bar high will always put your energy and time in a rewarding state . This has nothing to do with arrogance but competence , the world tend to reward a competence person and thats the fact most people find difficult to embrace . For me having my personal training studio in west london is exactly as i plan and where i want to make my name .
I was not ready to go low and compromise my standard . My area was the busness , people who want to look and feel their best all the time . People who values their health , life and good family .Also setting the bar high for me is an expression of getting better with my skills , knowledge and good physical body that serves me extremely well .
I love to see people looking good , seriously . i just love it . . probably that comes from one of my attributes a giver . A giver set the bar high and they want you to come up .
When i decided to have my own personal training studio , i know that i would not embrace average , My studio is a perfect location not so far away from where i used to work in a commercial gym . I wasnnt thinking about the obstacles or the challenges i was only focusing on raising the bar high .
The programmed we do in my studio is well balanced based on movement pattern – they will not create an imbalance or injury . In fact i take an account of the usual imbalance that affect the people when they join the gym ant thats one of the reason every clients s that comes to the studio experiencing a high quality of progress .
I laso learn the new advance way of making people beautiful through bio energetic exercise and and for clients to learn to fire their glutes muscles which is the foundation of good heath and beauty . Once again , i was creating my own standard and setting the bar high .
Im currently reading a fascinating book about giver and taker , I had this idea in my head for a very long time why people like to take , what is the problem behind taker because i generally feel sorry for taker and needy people then i stumble upon this well written book by ADAM GRANT . This is what i found out .
A giver will always succced no matter what obstacles in their way . Being a giver has create many opportunities for me in my life so i know what im talking about , people tends to say im lucky but i said im generous and this book clarify every thing for me . A giver mindset is very different , they approach things in a different way .
Givers uses their intelligence to amplify the smart and capabilities of other people ,light balls goes over peoples head , ideas flow , and get solved . The taker on the other side come around to promote their own interest , they drain intelligence , energy , and capabilities from others ,. Now you can see how you thrive with a giver and you drained with a taker .
Givers create a climate where everyone feels they can contribute , people can learn and innovate more . Takers affect people in a very negative way , they estimate their own contribution and neglect other . , My point here is make you pay attention to the people around you , what they are doing to you and also you to them . But generally givers like me win .
As i gotten older i realised the important of thriving in myself before i can thrive among others this ability , my physical self is very crucial to my well being and mental health A tough mental state follow by a well conditioned physical body . This even take a precedence over a spiritual quest without the body , nothing can be achieved .
Most people asked me how i stay in shape , even most personal trainers dont understand this concept . I had to learn new skills for my new life . I dont want to spend all my time in the gym exercising , ive been experimenting and learning short workout for about four years and the result is amazing , I only spend 30 to 40 mins training g myself or clients so i can spend time with family and friends .
Most of the people that used in shape are out of shape especially men because of other priority like family , work , business , relationships .
For me its important to be in shape and stay that way and i cannot be cheap on my self so short workout allows me to be consistent t without sacrificing my body .The more i thrive in myself , the more i passed it on to other people .
Men that does lots of cardio are going to sacrifice their time and energy they need to thrive with their family even worse . Even most personal trainers get burn out as they get older because they ve not learn how to thrive in themselves with a short consistency workout .
To be put simply , the foundation of a successful life is being physically fit . and through shot exercise and a good diet , a sharp mental state will follow .
Here is my link if you are interested in thriving in your 40s and beyond .victoriaboerstudio.com .
Thanks for reading .
A confidence person always take personal responsibilty they dont shift blames on other people and to be sure they are people out there who made to believe that too much passion or big dreams or even success are mark of arrogance . Success seems to annoy the hell out of them . Naturally im a confidence person but not arrogance , people seems to confuse this a lot so immediately they take me for stick up .
Most people are also operated from dependence arrogance especially in the commercial l gym , no skill , no talent , just muscle .No one likes an arrogance person so believing in yourself is very important but it has to be specific . confidence needs to be based on tangible facts and solutions , inner talents , things you can build upon , potentials , actions and the directions ion which you are determines to head
The whole point is to determine what you want to do with your confidence , for me i share it with people around me to boost their confidence also to the competitors . Doing well in life require confidence and your own self belief which build inner confidence . You need to feed that inner confidence and sometimes im too confident for most people and i cannot help it . .
Real arrogance of course called social arrogance is thinking you are better than other people in general , confidence has nothing to do with your worth as a human being or comparison of yourself to others . Confidence is internal .
We all love people that can express clearly and motivate us , this is one of the reason people love jesus christ because he was a great communicator who emerge from the bible and to be honest people who communicate well tend to get what they want and the reason is because they are well understood .
When we communicate we assume that the fist rule is to communicate to be understood but its not . The first rule is to communicate so that you cannot be mis-understood . it took me a long learning time to get this i have to keep on replaying in my head very time in my daily interaction with people .
The other thing is not to be lazy in language . and clarity place importance in dealing with people, analysing busness relationship . Ive learnt that when im not clear people mis understood and result in conflicts .People are also too overwhelmed with so much information that they dont really needs so its important to make your self really clear and simplify .
Clarity always inspire faith, because youve been understood and this makes things go well in life and relationship . Always make yourself clearer and people will think you are an expert .