Some people are always looking for someone to inflict their pain on because that’s the only way they will feel better about themselves. They can’t just help it. They are either good or bad and they are aficionados of love / hate relationships. These people also know how to turn people against each other. You need to learn how to detect these people otherwise you will never figure out why sometimes people suddenly turn against you for no reason.
I once had a friend who I introduced to other people, then the other people started changing their behaviour towards me; and it took me a lot of awareness from my part to understand this was blackmailing. One of the best ways to detect if you have these kinds of people in your life is to ask yourself…
- Do you go to great pains to keep the peace?
- Is he or she only adoring when you meet their needs?
- Do you frequently feel wrong or accused?
Look at your answers, you might deal with energy vampires in your life, and you can liberate yourself by using these tactics.
- SET STRONG BOUNDARIES – These kinds of people respond to structure – you can start with asking: “Please don’t talk about me to friends and family” and/or “I don’t want to talk about x person with you”. Your job is to modify the behaviour without bringing emotion into it.
- REFUSE TO TAKE SIDES – Be careful about accepting a negative assessment of others or letting his or her opinions destroy your relationships with another person.
- RELEASE NEGATIVITY – Break eye contact to stop the transfer of negative / toxic energy.
You need to understand that you cannot help these people because they haven’t learnt to self-nurture by activating their heart energy or making a spiritual connection.
Your goal is to see people as they are and protect your own sensitivity. learning these tactics will take time but at least you free yourself from vampires; you can now use your energy in a productive way and be happier.